There are a plethora of anger Amanagement tips that you can find on the internet. Some people say deep breathing and journaling one’s daily experience are helpful in dealing with one’s anger. All these tips are indeed beneficial to some extent. However, they’re just not enough to explore the deeper roots of anger. This is because some people who have serious issues about anger warrant a more in-depth understanding. This is important to make them better at staving off any signs of anger arousal. The reasons and causes of one’s anger are essential in understanding why some people are too prone to anger arousal. This goes to say that anger management should not just be geared towards controlling one’s anger. It has to be targeted towards dealing with past experiences that cause them to develop enduring anger and emotional wounds that never seem to heal.
When Past Wounds are NOT Addressed
People who have been through an experience that cause severe emotional wounds will eventually develop a lower threshold for feeling threatened. The same thing is true regardless of whether the wounds were caused by abuse or not. Consequently, they find themselves often perceiving threats. But, in reality, no threatening situations really exist. Their lowered threshold for feeling threatened leads them to become quick at making faulty judgments about certain situations.
When Wounds of the Past Leads to Avoidance
When significant wounds to the past are not thoroughly addressed the individual now will have an increased tendency to avoid emotional intimacy. They will develop this sense of paralysis regarding seeking real happiness. Add in their tendency to lose their confidence in achieving their goals which may lead them to become truly happy. They tend to withdraw themselves from emotionally investing in the present life. This is when depression sets in. Depression may also co-occur with one’s difficulty of letting go of anger. When people refuse to let go of their painful past, they become too vulnerable. This makes them more prone to have difficulty achieving real happiness in life. This also deprives them of attaining greater emotional security at present.
Some people who have difficulty letting go of their past anger can identify specific situations that trigger anger arousal in them. This ability to identify only became possible after seeing a therapist. This was also followed by making conscious decisions and careful avoidance of specific events that could trigger their anger. Thus, they become reluctant at emotionally investing in any personal relationships. Some people can gain knowledge out of making self-reflections and ended up becoming better at handling similar situations that cause a lot of anger in them.
But, for some people, the wounds of the past leads them to become emotionally isolated. And, such occurrence makes them prone to develop anger which also causes the symptoms of anxiety and depression. Failure to let go of the past will only make one’s life in limbo. Their life is paralyzed by their inability to let go of the past and all the pain and anger associated with it.
The anger caused by severe wounds leads the brain to become hyper-vigilant. This is why people become too conscious of avoiding situations that have the potential to trigger such pain and anger. However, people suffering from the cudgels of anger associated with their painful was must know that it is completely possible to let go of anger. They just have to do it in a proper and effective manner.
Know That You Do Not Have The Power To Change The Past
You must realize that you are powerless to make any alterations if what had already happened in your life. However, you must also bear in mind that you are completely capable of changing how these past events may influence you and your ability to achieve happiness. Many people find it hard to let go of their expectations. One reason for this is that they keep on comparing their present to what they think “could have possibly happened if that specific event from their past did not take place in the first place.So, day after day they find themselves feeling frustrated because things aren’t happening according to what they hope them to be and according to what they expected things to turn out to be.
The Importance Of Learning Certain Skills To Be Able To Let Go Of Anger
One must develop resilience to make it easier for him to just let go of his anger. Resilience increases a person’s confidence in dealing with difficult situations. Self-compassion is also another important skill to develop when letting go of anger. With self-compassion one will be able to realize that refusing to let go of anger will not do one’s mind and body any good. With self-compassion one will feel more connected to the people around him. It is through self-compassion that forgiveness and acceptance become easier to do. This gives plenty of room to welcome the joy of life.
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